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slave richard: A recovering money slave

A blog documenting my steps to overcome financial domination

11/28/10 08:34 pm - Day 7 – Struggling to resist, but determined to succeed!

Yesterday was day 7 of being free and it’s really getting tough right now.  I keep having strong urges to read my former owners blog/twitter/website and buy her new clips (they look hot, especially the ass worship ones).
I’m going through the ‘withdrawal symptom’ phase of an addiction now, I really want to come back to my former owners hands, but I know there are so many great things I can do once I’ve overcome this.  Instead of sending all my money off to a beautiful woman who doesn’t care about me, I’ll actually be able to fuck one in real life who does care, and spend my money on me and the people I love.  I guess anything worth doing in life is not going to be easy.  I’ve just got to push through this difficult period.  I won’t be giving in anytime soon, I don’t care if she makes the hottest, cruellest clip, I’m not going to be tempted, and even if I am tempted, I doubt my former owner will let me back.  I’m hoping the Break the Habit Paraliminal CD I bought last week will be arriving sometime next week.  I really need as much support as I can get right now.  I’m reading some of my Ross Jeffries seduction products and ingraining the right mindset, beliefs and attitudes to stop being Mr Nice Guy into my head.  I’ve also ordered Carlos Xuma’s Alpha Masculinity program.  I’m hoping that will further reinforce the right mindset I need to take with women and life.

From the recommendations of one of the readers of my blog, I’ve installed the free web filter/parental control program ‘K9 Web Protection’ which blocks my former owners website.  Only problem is, I know the password!!
I’m going to write a long, random password down on a piece of paper, change the K9 password to this randomised password, then bring the piece of paper to work and keep it in my draw at work.  That way when I’m at home, there is no way I can view any porn or her website.  The next day when I’m at work, I’m usually in a more objective state, so will be able to say no to myself much more easily.  I think this will help keep me away from my former owners influence.

I went to some Yoga classes last week and must say I really enjoyed them. I felt so relaxed during and after the session, and I didn’t think about my former owner much at all.  It’s a great way to clear the mind and exercise the body, and gets me out of the house, away from the computer and meeting new people.

My next step is to join a Martial Arts club, I just don’t know what type/style I should learn. I don’t like the look of the judo type martial arts, I’d much prefer the karate styles with punches and kicks, but there are so many styles to choose from!
Scott Bolan always said that Mixed Martial Arts was the best Martial Arts to learn.  It’s a shame there are not many MMA clubs close to me.

11/21/10 06:05 pm - Day 1

This morning I woke up late, at half 10.  It’s Sunday so that’s my excuse lol.  I felt awesome.  I’m so glad I’ve taken this decision to overcome financial domination.  It’s the first step on my journey to a normal life.  All I really want is a long term relationship with an attractive GF who I love, and who I know loves me in return.  Money slavery/Ds/BDSM/femdom was like an anchor holding me back from success.  Now this anchor is lifted I’m sure I’ll succeed.

Last night I spent some time with my parents, which I hadn’t done for a long time.  We watched the film ‘Letters from Iwo Jima’, which documents the US attack on Iwo Jima in WW2 from the Japanese perspective.

It was a good film, very chilling at times, and certainly puts things into perspective.  I sometimes think my life sucks but at least I’ve not had to risk life or limb on the front line.

There was a quote in the film that stuck out to me as useful for overcoming financial domination too, so I’ll write about it here:
There was a scene where the Japanese go over the battle plan to defend the island, and the general asks his men why they (the Japanese) will win.  One of the soldiers stands and says that American soldiers are weak-willed and let their emotions get in the way, and that the Japanese soldiers have superior discipline.

I’m sure the same can be said of any person, not just an American soldier from WW2.  I know with financial domination it’s a very emotionally intense situation.  It’s the emotions that cloud your judgement and get in the way.  Looking at findom from a totally logical perspective it simply does not make any sense at all.  It’s the emotional excitement, the compulsion and extreme arousal that motivates the action of submitting financially to your domme.  All it takes is emotional objectivity and/or self-discipline, and this habit can be overcome.

I believe emotional objectivity is critical to overcoming financial domination and this is my ultimate goal.  I am not at this stage yet, findom still turns me on, but I choose to do a different action now when aroused.  Insects and animals go directly from stimulus to response, it’s intelligent humans who know there is a choice to do something different and act in a different way.

I’ll be researching techniques to develop emotional calm and objectivity.  I believe the ninja used meditation and breath control techniques to develop emotional objectivity (which they called the Mushin state).  I already practice QiGong on a daily basis and this has helped to reduce the intensity of my feelings of anxiety, sadness and anger whenever I feel them.  I’ll be attending a Yoga class next week which I believe focuses on breathing, stretching, relaxation and meditation techniques so this should be tremendously beneficial to my progress.

11/20/10 05:15 pm - Overcoming Financial Domination - for good this time!

I’ve done it now, properly this time.  I’ve decided to cut off from all other avenues of possibility, and overcome financial domination, and not just findom, but all areas of female domination / submissiveness that have been affecting me for years.  Deep down I am a masculine MAN, I just have some negative mental programming that has twisted my mind and made me operate contrary to my naturally masculine genetic programming.  Once I clear all the junk out of my mind and life I’ll be free to live my life how I should be living it, not sacrificing it for somebody else.

I’ll delete all my findom clips and start watching ‘vanilla’ porn.  Since I deleted all my other porn from my computer while I was serving Goddess Tierra, I’ll have to start afresh. My new collection certainly won’t be as big as my old one, I plan on only having a small amount now, and there will be no kinky stuff either, just vanilla porn.  I’ll force myself to enjoy vanilla sex.  Some Dommes condition their slaves to be gay by making them watch gay porn.  By applying the same principle I’ll rewire my brain into enjoying vanilla porn, which will mean I’ll likely appreciate vanilla sex too.  I think I’ll sign up for a membership at www.roundandbrown.com – the women there are hot, some are even as hot as Goddess Tierra, and it only costs $25 a month!  Soon my mind will be rewired to actually enjoy vanilla sex instead of findom.

Once I enjoy vanilla porn/sex I’ll be able to search for a GF who actually loves me for who I am, not for the money I give her, and I’ll be able to live a normal life.

I’ll start studying the PUA materials I have – Ross Jeffries Speed Seduction home study course, Carlos Xuma’s secrets of the Alpha Man, Juggler Method, Mystery Method, Martial Mastery, Mental Warfare Secrets and all the other books and CD/DVD programs I have.  I’ve just bought the Break the habit Paraliminal which will be a nice replacement to all Goddess Tierra’s hypno clips I’ve been listening to.

From now on I’ll stay downstairs with my parents more, start going to the volunteer work again, join a Yoga class, join a Martial Arts class and get out of the house more so I can actually meet people and keep myself away from the temptation of the computer.  It’ll also give me some hobbies and interests I can talk about to make new friends.

And finally, I’ll apply everything I KNOW about but chose not to APPLY from all the books and information resources I’ve studied on psychology and overcoming addictions to ensure I finally overcome this once and for all.

I’ll be documenting my progress here, or maybe I’ll delete this blog and start blogging on a new blog so I’m not stuck in this old ‘identity’.

My new years resolution this year was to overcome financial domination.  I may not have done this straight away, but there is another month and a half until 2011 comes around.  By that time my habit will well and truly have gone, the only thing I’ll have to focus on then is repaying all the credit card debt I’m in.  That’ll be my new years resolution for 2011.  It’ll take a lot longer than a year to clear it all though, but I’ll set my plan out for how soon I can get out of this mess I’m in then.

I'd like to thank everyone who has encouraged me to take this step and once and for all overcome this fetish.

This is an interesting challenge for me, but I know I’ll come out of it much stronger, much wiser, and it’ll pave the way for my ultimate success in the future.

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